Pagoda of Gaming

Mailbag: My First Hate-Mail

February 2nd, 2009 by TheMissingNin

Before I go on and regail you on how freaking awesome my weekend was, and maybe talk some DoW2 beta. I thought I’d reach into the Mailbag and answer a comment from a nice reader.

Random Bearded Guy writes, in response to The Matrix Meets Alterna-Future ….

Should i send a link of this page to the people you work with/for? I have to ask you what on earth makes you think anyone in this town would want to talk to a fool like you? You complain that this place is boring but you have no real social life here because you insult everyone. Fuck it next time i see you out of your work i might just punch you, give you a reason to insult us. Now fuck off back to Scumdee for a while with your apprentice draftsman wage and try not to mention that you work for those who build the trailer units, lest you insult them too and end up processing fish with the little old ladies. Dickhead

I don’t think I’ve ever tried to quantify and truly explain my feelings towards this place, or if I have - it’s time for an update. For that I apologise. It’s a total culmination of fail, that no single thing can come to the sum of. From things like living in a Tesco Monopoly to the utter oppression I feel walking down the street. From how my family exist and impact my life to how shitty school was for me.

He is right though, no-one actually does talk to me. I can’t blame them - I leave for two years and they move on. Hell, I wouldn’t want to talk to me. Even though they all know that I’m back and know how to reach me, my old friends don’t want to do anything with me, which is fine. I’m not going to force myself upon anyone.

Infact, since I came back, the only people to care enough to bother contacting me are those currently in Dundee. So am I not supposed to be pissed that the best friends I’ve got live 100 miles away?

My social life or lack thereof, is the way it is because I’m a generally bad person, I’m the villain in everything, I always have been. I never want to drink, I don’t want to go down the “flagee” and I don’t want to make someone my mate because why would I want to hurt someone like that? I want to play, read and write about games for no other purpose than I’ve always enjoyed it, I want to live the life of the ultimate nerd and this place doesn’t facillitate that.

Why is it that my Apprentice Draftsman wage is a part of this? That somehow I’m a lesser person because I make minimum wage? And yes, I’ve already worked in the fish - less old women, more middle-aged foreigner. It wasn’t the best time evar but it helped me pay for a year of commodities at Uni. It doesn’t matter what fucking job you have aslong as you get from it what you want, and I know pleanty of Minimum wage workers that are the most decent people I’ve ever met. So don’t come here waving your job shlong around - it doesn’t fucking matter.

Trailers and Fish is what this town does - If this were a RTS, that’s the reasourses you’d get for capturing the town. It’s a statement of fucking fact. Apart from the drugs of course, I’m sure you’d like me to break open that little nugget and give you something else to insult me for.

All in all, It’s my fault that I’m here. I did the things I did and I ended up back here. It’s my punishment, and I’m not going to be the better man by making the best of it. Apart from my family, this town has nothing left for me that it hasn’t already taken.

As for “i might just punch you” - let me remind you that this is the internet. False information, Trolls and Hate come with the Terrabytes. I’d never want to see a Nuke land on this place as much as I’d like to live here for the rest of my life - I’d just need something as convoluted to give me a true enough reason to get the hell out.

So Mr. Hero, It certainly says alot about you that you bothered to dig through the internet and find my putrid little corner. So do you want to continue to tell me things I already know and try to change my unchangeable opinion on this town, or do you want to gtfo and go do the things your myspace photo album suggests you enjoy (see - Drinking, Drinking, Touching Lizards and Wearing Wetsuits)

Sorry that I deleted your second comment without reading it. I haven’t got a total handle on the whole Wordpress 2.whatever thing yet and accidentally posted my notes, which you hastily replied to. Very sorry about that.

instrumental

Posted in Mailbag | 5 Comments »

The Pagoda of Gaming’s Game Of The Year Awards 2007 Of The North Star!

January 2nd, 2008 by TheMissingNin

So Edge did it wrong, totally. Let’s start off with mistake numer one, listing the GOTY on the first fucking page. You bum-love the thing so much, give it a damn drum roll first, dudes, srsly. So here’s how it’s going to go: I’m doing the 2007 Edge awards (from issue 184), except I’m putting the right choises in, right as in my choices, and adding in some minor stabs at Edge as we go along. First thing I did when I got home with the mag was to go through it with a permanant marker and added my own little comments. And we begin with the Alternative Awards, games that missed the gold, silver, or bronzes of the real awards but still deserve a mention, like the stupid awards in your high-school year book like who had the best hair or who was most likely to become a porn director. I should say right now there’s only one Wii game that got an award, and it’s only for it’s box art. I’m not a reviewing press person so I don’t get hardware and games mailed to me by people who want their praise from me, so I didn’t want to have a £200 peice of kit sitting there doing nothing for the next billion years, hence no Wii, hence no Wii games played, hence no awards. These are my awards after all, they don’t come with a golden statue or additional press controversy or pissing off fanboys at a national level. They are about as useful as a list on someone’s retarded bebo page. These are all my opinions based on what I’ve played and observed over the past year. Granted, I’ll forget something. Also, because it is the new year already (so this is a little bit late) I’m going to forego the annoying texty bits and leave you with the pure and simple lists, and an invitation, one that allows you to challenge my decisions, so I can respond and tell you I’m right.

The Alternative Awards

Best Use Of A Beta - Crackdown (360)
Best Use of Annoying Leper/Poor People - Assasin’s Creed (360, PS3)
Most Dissapointing Game - Hellgate London (PC)
Best Use Of Subliminal Messaging in Box art - Super Mario Galaxy (Wii)
Best Movie based on Game Franchise - Hitman The Movie
Easiest 1000 Gamerscore - Avatar The Last Airbender: The Burning Earth (360)
Best Game that the Yanks Got But We Haven’t Yet For Some Fucked Up Reason - Rock Band (360, PS3)
Best Use of an Importer - Pokemon Diamond & Pearl (NDS)
Best MMO Patch Of The Year - EVE Trinity (PC)
Most Use Of Man-Hours - World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade(PC)
Best XBLA or PSN Game - Settlers Of Catan (XBLA)
Most Secretive Game - Alan Wake (360, PC)
Game That Should’ve Had More Development Time - Mass Effect (360)
Game I Should’ve Played More - Company of Heroes (PC)

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Aberdull, Anime, Big Issue, DS, Dundee, E3 2007, EVE Online, Eye of Judgement, Film, Fraserboring, Funny, Guitar Hero, Heading Out, Magic: The Gathering, Mailbag, Music, PC, PS2, PS3, PSP, Rock Band, Student Life, TCG, TV, Uncategorized, Video Gaming, Wii, World of Warcraft, X-Box 360 | No Comments »

CRUISE CONTROL AND ASIA KONG!!!!

July 7th, 2007 by TheMissingNin

BACK ON THE INTERBUTTZZ!! NORMAL POSTING TO BEGIN AGAIN TOMORROW!!! THE MUSINGS OF A CLOSET-EMO!!! MOAR BITCHING THAN EVER BEFORE!!! OUTLAND!!! THE ART OF AVOIDING REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS!!! RANDOM SENTENCES WITH EXCLAMATION MARKS AT THE END!!! MY DESPISING OF THE NORTH-EAST OF SCOTLAND!!! PICTURES OF BOATS WITH ABSOLUTELY THE CRAPPIEST NAMES IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!! DESU!!! MOAR FAILURE THAN EVER BEFORE!!! CRUISE CONTROL IS AWESOME!!!! WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR CULTURE/RELIGION/RACE!!! LOUD NOISES!!! BOATLOADS OF TEEN ANGST!!! EXPLANATIONS OF WHERE IVE BEEN THE PAST FOUR WEEKS!!! MEME’S UPON MEME’S OF FUN!!! PUTTING MYSELF OUT OF MY MISERY!!! MAOR STUFF EMBEDEDED INTO THE FREAKING HTML!!!! PEOPLE NEEDING TO SIGN UP TO COMMENT!!! E3 2007!!! AND IF YOU’D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE JUST SIT RIGHT THERE, I’LL TELL YOU HOW I BECAME THE PRINCE OF A TOWN CALLED BEL-AIR!!! IT’S LUPUS!!! MY INABILITY TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!! SHIT HITTING FANS!!! MISANTHROPISTIC OUTLOOKS ON LIFE!!!!! NINJAS AND A DISTINCT INTENTIONAL LACK OF PIRATES!!!! PARENTAL CONFLICTS!!! DELICIOUS CAKE!!! A CONTEST WITH AN ACTUAL PRIZE!!! ALL THIS AND MOAR COMING SOON!!!

UNTIL THEN ENJOY SOME AWESOME BROKEN PIXELS!!!

L2PNUBL3TS

NIN OUT!!!

Posted in Anime, Big Issue, DS, Dundee, Film, Fraserboring, Funny, Guitar Hero, Heading Out, Magic: The Gathering, Mailbag, Music, PS2, PS3, Student Life, TCG, TV, Uncategorized, Video Gaming, Wii, World of Warcraft, X-Box 360 | 1 Comment »

Mailbag: Why Do You Buy Suff Twice?

April 6th, 2007 by TheMissingNin

I Absolutely LOVE getting comments on the blog, as much as a gay man can love ass, which I assume is alot. In the mailbag section I’ll be going over interesting comments on my blog and addressing them as best I can. So in afterschool childrens programming style…

Geo Comments:

I personally cannot believe that you are such a 360 fanboy that you are both saying how much you love a bloody advert and that you are getting excited about a game you already have and downloadable content you have already played.

You sir are the biggest of fanboys. FACT.

And later he adds:

Hang on a mo, just checked amazon and Guitar Hero is 63 quid! SIXTY FUCKING THREE! FOR A GAME YOU ALREADY HAVE!! YOU ARE INSANE!!

And very stupid.

Fanboy. FACT.

So I’m not going to deny it, I’m a Microsoft Fanboy. I like their stuff. Like, really like their stuff. In the same way a gay man loves cock, which I assume is alot. Though I have some justification for buying things twice.

Not so long ago I went through a HUGE Rockstar Games thing that I ended up buying a bunch of their games twice. Thought this wasn’t as financially hitting as you might think. It was round the time that I was getting into PC gaming and so I had to actually buy some PC games. The first was Max Payne, which I got for about £10 if I remember right, Where I already had the game on the PS2. The second was Vice City, which I bought a friend for his Birthday, so I installed myself. I had the PS2 version first, and I got the PC version second, for the birthday present. I actually played VC to 100% on the PC, which was played consideralbly more than it’s console counterpart. Actually, before that I also got GTA3, for the PC, which forced me to upgrade my box so that I could play it. Again I owned the PS2 Version first. Lastly was San Andreas, of which I own both PS2 and PC versions. In all those cases the games were better on the PC than on the console, and I got both of them because the PC version usually came out later. So I upgraded.

Basically I’m buying Guitar Hero 2 for the 360 because of the better game experience that it will give me. I notice the little things you see, and care about them. I care that there’s all these new features availabe, because the machine I’m playing it on allows for it. For instance, you couldn’t have done online leaderboards for a PS2 game, nor could you have done Downloadable content on the PS2.

There’s also the matter that I love all these games, so I actually enjoy buying them twice, so I can play them twice and I can support the developers twice. So there’s the likelyhood of sequels.

In the matter of me getting excited over a Advert, that one’s easy. Microsoft marketing works on me. I’ll actually go onto XBLMarketplace and download adverts to my HDD so I can watch them over and over. And I’m not the only one that will. If that’s not succesful marketing, then I don’t know what is. Plus the advert’s really cool looking with the swooshing rock stuff and the meteor almost killing people. That must be the world’s most awesome guitar pick though; made of a meteor that you just caught with your rock god hands, falling towards earth.

Also note that I have not named a shit game in this article so far. Until I say “BIG RIGS” that is. In the case of buying big rigs twice, it had better be a present for someone. Both copies.

Geo also added:

I also got an extra controller and PGR in that package, don’t forget that .

So you got a X-Box 360 Premium, Gears of War, PGR3, Crackdown, and an Extra Controller for £300????

You’re a Cock.

I would also like to add that it’s Half three and the bloddy game hasn’t arrived yet. It had better turn up tomorrow, and early too.

‘Nin Out!

Posted in Mailbag, Video Gaming | No Comments »

Mailbag: Why Do You Buy Suff Twice?

April 6th, 2007 by TheMissingNin

I Absolutely LOVE getting comments on the blog, as much as a gay man can love ass, which I assume is alot. In the mailbag section I’ll be going over interesting comments on my blog and addressing them as best I can. So in afterschool childrens programming style…

Geo Comments:

I personally cannot believe that you are such a 360 fanboy that you are both saying how much you love a bloody advert and that you are getting excited about a game you already have and downloadable content you have already played.

You sir are the biggest of fanboys. FACT.

And later he adds:

Hang on a mo, just checked amazon and Guitar Hero is 63 quid! SIXTY FUCKING THREE! FOR A GAME YOU ALREADY HAVE!! YOU ARE INSANE!!

And very stupid.

Fanboy. FACT.

So I’m not going to deny it, I’m a Microsoft Fanboy. I like their stuff. Like, really like their stuff. In the same way a gay man loves cock, which I assume is alot. Though I have some justification for buying things twice.

Not so long ago I went through a HUGE Rockstar Games thing that I ended up buying a bunch of their games twice. Thought this wasn’t as financially hitting as you might think. It was round the time that I was getting into PC gaming and so I had to actually buy some PC games. The first was Max Payne, which I got for about £10 if I remember right, Where I already had the game on the PS2. The second was Vice City, which I bought a friend for his Birthday, so I installed myself. I had the PS2 version first, and I got the PC version second, for the birthday present. I actually played VC to 100% on the PC, which was played consideralbly more than it’s console counterpart. Actually, before that I also got GTA3, for the PC, which forced me to upgrade my box so that I could play it. Again I owned the PS2 Version first. Lastly was San Andreas, of which I own both PS2 and PC versions. In all those cases the games were better on the PC than on the console, and I got both of them because the PC version usually came out later. So I upgraded.

Basically I’m buying Guitar Hero 2 for the 360 because of the better game experience that it will give me. I notice the little things you see, and care about them. I care that there’s all these new features availabe, because the machine I’m playing it on allows for it. For instance, you couldn’t have done online leaderboards for a PS2 game, nor could you have done Downloadable content on the PS2.

There’s also the matter that I love all these games, so I actually enjoy buying them twice, so I can play them twice and I can support the developers twice. So there’s the likelyhood of sequels.

In the matter of me getting excited over a Advert, that one’s easy. Microsoft marketing works on me. I’ll actually go onto XBLMarketplace and download adverts to my HDD so I can watch them over and over. And I’m not the only one that will. If that’s not succesful marketing, then I don’t know what is. Plus the advert’s really cool looking with the swooshing rock stuff and the meteor almost killing people. That must be the world’s most awesome guitar pick though; made of a meteor that you just caught with your rock god hands, falling towards earth.

Also note that I have not named a shit game in this article so far. Until I say “BIG RIGS” that is. In the case of buying big rigs twice, it had better be a present for someone. Both copies.

Geo also added:

I also got an extra controller and PGR in that package, don’t forget that .

So you got a X-Box 360 Premium, Gears of War, PGR3, Crackdown, and an Extra Controller for £300????

You’re a Cock.

I would also like to add that it’s Half three and the bloddy game hasn’t arrived yet. It had better turn up tomorrow, and early too.

‘Nin Out!

Posted in Guitar Hero, Mailbag, Video Gaming | No Comments »

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Mailbag: My First Hate-Mail

February 2nd, 2009 by TheMissingNin

The Pagoda of Gaming’s Game Of The Year Awards 2007 Of The North Star!

January 2nd, 2008 by TheMissingNin

CRUISE CONTROL AND ASIA KONG!!!!

July 7th, 2007 by TheMissingNin

Mailbag: Why Do You Buy Suff Twice?

April 6th, 2007 by TheMissingNin

Mailbag: Why Do You Buy Suff Twice?

April 6th, 2007 by TheMissingNin