Pagoda of Gaming

Well it’s pretty much T-Minus 3-Hours, 30-Minutes before I leave Fundee for the Summer, so I thought I’d pop on and make a ‘final’ post before I go. This is history right fucking here. I’ve been up all night listening to Raidchan and packing up all my shit. Surprise, I haven’t slept, though I did get a nice 20 hour stretch yesterday, which was the best sleep I’ve had in weeks.

I’m not even back yet and I’ve already pissed off my mother… because I didn’t call… yesterday. Even after I texted her saying I was going to turn off my phone to get some frakking sleep… I dunno. Some might call that an OVERREACTION, and I might be one of them. Whatever, I’m always the Villain when it comes to family shit like this, and I guess I’m still getting used to it.

But hopefully, If my faults as a son haven’t rocked the roost too much, the ‘rents should be out of town for the weekend, leaving me with a house and several magic decks to myself. So that’s what I’m looking forward too. And sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.

Two things that have been popping up lately I’d like to set in stone. The first being where I get my TV from via the internet. Simply it’s HERE. Long version, EZTV is the best torrent site I’ve seen to keep up with your weekly shows since it shows exactly what was on yesterday, and what will air today and has a huge fucking list of past shows with user ratings and a MASSIVER LIST OF SHOWS AND HOW MANY DAYS IT IS UNTIL EACH SHOW RETURNS AND OH MY GOD CANDY FOR BREAKFAST!

The second is a peice of advice. There’s a couple of people I’ve met who haven’t secured jobs for the summer months, to them I say, If you’ve got the chance to have a summer of fun, not to be tied down by a job, then FUCKING TAKE IT. Take it because you’ll maybe never have the chance to have a summer like that ever again! I’m fucking positive that I would take it, because I haven’t had a fun summer in YEARS. I think the time was like 4 years ago, me and Drizau up til 4am each night Pwning ass in CS:S, that I believe was also the summer I discovered Warcraft and Pure Pwnage. Ah, those were the years.

Here’s a vid, I don’t know where it’s from, but the song just popped right into my head the other day, so why the fuck not?

And to close, no matter what, I’ll be back to dundee after the summer.

My heart would be a fireball

I’ll admit it, as soon as the press blitz began, I was rather afraid, but I suppose I can think somewhat rationally now. I’m talking ofcourse about our favourite plastic space taker-uppers Guitar Hero, Rock Band and the newly announced Rock Revolution from Konami. Yes, the post you’ve all been waiting for, it’s time to pick a side, and I’m pissed.

So let’s get the obvious loser out of the way. Rock Revolution, from initial impressions, as 1up Yours put it, Konami’s late to the party that they started. Huge fucking 7/8 pad drum kit, no vocals, songs all cover-versions. GTFO. To be honest, for me it’s the culmination of current Japanese design. Fuck innovation, let’s just ramp up the difficulty level. I’m sorry, but it’s a something I realised lately, that personally, I’ve been avoiding typically ‘japanese’ games, because I’m simply bored with the same old shit over and over. And don’t get angry fanboys, I’m sure some of you are about to cite Okami, and I’ll agree with you there. And I’m sure some of you are going to bring the Wii to the table. Let’s not go too far, I’m sure you all know how I feel about that gamecube with a SIXAXIS.

Getting back on topic, next to the block is Guitar Hero 4, which seems to be doing it right. In other words, they’re copying Rock Band, but shoving a music creation thingy in with the package and adding cymbals to the drum kit. Sure whatever, apparantly, it might be more expensive than Rock Band. This immediatly brings to my mind the question: “Why did Harmonix Sell Guitar Hero?” They actually made a competitor for themselves with their old established name. That’s a Question that a simple google search can’t answer.

Then there’s Rock Band. I’m sure that this whole conundrum has already been answered for most Americans - Aslong as Harmonix can supply a steady stream of songs, who cares about an Activision knock off? But here, where Rock Band was released under a week ago, and isn’t exactly flying off the shelves? It sure as fuck matters, especially when news reached us that a shinier, well established version of Rock Band would be hitting shelves at christmas time, I’m sure gamer’s Europe-wide paused and pondered.

Me, I’m still backing Rock Band. I’m hoping and praying for a Price drop, atleast mid-summer. And I see the current Library of DLC very alluring, considering it’s chance to double in size before the release of Guitar Hero 4. But there certainly is a problem when Harmonix’s target European audiance, namely students both pre and post tutelage, can’t even afford a bunch of chinese plastic instruments. There’s only one entity at fault for all this, and that’s Harmonix. They set the price, they sold the franchise, they created the Activision beast. They forced us to split our wallet between Heroes and Bands, and what can they do to make up for it? Simply, a price drop, one that may never come.

Why is game itself £50? Considering you need Peripheral support in something Harmonix already sold you, shouldn’t it be something like £30? Regardless, I’m searching for a solution to the Rock Band Problem, I could pick up the Game by itself and play with my old 360 Xplorer, that’s £50. Add another £20 for a USB microphone, that’s £70. Add another £70 for Drums, bringing it to a total of £140, which equals the current online price for the complete Rock Band Package. So really, the choice is, buy seperately or buy it all and get a shiny new guitar.

Maybe I’m just being bitter because I’m poor. Maybe as soon as my first summer-harbour-job paycheck arrives, I’ll feel less annoyed and more incentivised. Only time will tell.

As a final thought on the matter, my heart goes out to the PS3 crowd, who don’t actually get to make this choice. Remember why they call it the Playstation 3 kids? BECAUSE IT HAS NO GAMES.

Now onto my other obsession of late, the National Qualifier. I dissapointingly landed 16th out of 22 players. And I could make excuses, valid ones, but I’m sure you’d scoff at me. It was certainly a learning experience. Next time, atleast two month’s preparation will be required, and I must learn not to try and recycle old decks to save money. Therefore I’m making it my duty to officially return to the Magic The Gathering scene, to pween some much needed asses.

These happenings spurred me on to watch the tail end of Pro-Tour Hollywood, which I conveniently caught as soon as I got back to Fundee. It was a rather interesting tournament, surprisingly only a single Faerie deck got into the top 8, and didn’t win! I say this happily after a sunday torrent of bitterblossoms aimed directly at my head. Check out the full tourney details HERE. It also spurred me onto buy some cards for use over the summer months and beyond. £30 netted me a complete Merfolk Deck, modeled on PT-Hollywood’s 2nd top deck, and a bunch of cards to fix up the Mono Black Control deck I played in the Qualifier and make a start on my upcoming Mono Black Multiplayer deck. And I got it all from mtgmintcard.com /productplacement

Well that’s that. The cards should arrive by the weekend so I’ll maybe do a MTG centric post this weekend, mostly on deckbuilding shite. I’m off to the super-final screening of Doomsday in Fundee, and to dread over whatever shite I’ve got/going to get myself into over the next couple of days. Seem’s like my hayfever’s back too, I guess that means it’s finally summer. shit.

Here’s some YTMND LOLZ for you, catch you later.

And if I had the choice

Before I cut open my chest and start bearing my emo emo emo soul for all to see, some impressions of the new Indiana Jones film. I’m sure if you care enought to hear me talk about it, you care enough to actually go and see it. It does go places that the previous films did not, and I think it worked extremely well. It’s absolutely not the rumored ‘will it blend’d version of all the previous films. There is like a single moment of that, you know, an unnecesary reference. It’s as bad as George breaking through the movie screen with an axe shouting “YOU SEE THAT YOU FUCKING DICKS! YOU SEE THAT RAIDER’S REFERENCE RIGHT THERE!” Besides that, it’s really good. A note for the next one, if Harrison hasn’t died by then, how about some Cthulu? Get some Lovecraft shit in there. Might be spectaculawesome.

Now, This isn’t the post I promised, the one cursing several game developers for their thunder stealing, rythematic, chinese plastic. Due to some new info, my original perspective is now slightly skewed. No, this is the annual “bitch about life” post that is… well… Annual.

I suggest you begin by watching this episode of Metalokalypse, since I feel that it would be helpful and marginally humorous to reference it throughout the rest of the post.

Brutal… So I was having a somewhat perfect day. I woke up at 4…ish. Did a quick skim of the internet. Noticed that Indi was finally out, went to cinema, etc, etc, got some delicious shish from Corfu, watched the first 15 minutes of the latest boston legal, played the PA game trial on XBL and the DBZ Burst Limit Demo. Then, I hear the sound of children screaming - As though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing appeared above my phone and from it emerged a thousand starving crows, the phone began to ring, and so, fearful, I reach to answer it. I catch a glimpse of the caller ID, but it’s too late, I’ve answered. “Is it ok to talk now? Or shall I call back?”. “It’s fine”, I reply. The ‘rents have called.

I use the Metalocalypse episode as a point of reference because, whenever my family appears, in whatever ghoulish manner, I feel the way that Pickles does. This is not a celebration, this is a moment of fear, of pain manifested in some psychic familial form. These beings have some godly right to judge me, and forcibly mold me into something I’m not, and worse of all, magnify my failures and spread them about. Everything is, after all, my fault.

I’m really in a state of shock right now, It’s hard to type this, my hands are shaking. Hopefully the hard metal I’m pumping into my ears should calm my blood pressure, long enough for me to finish this post, so I can get round to a sleepless night of mental anguish. Lets just say that my 5th floor window is looking mighty appealing right now, even if all I do is fuck up and break my legs.

Let’s dig a bit deeper here: In life, I fear three things. Not the little things like primal fears (fear of wasps for example), I’m talking the big daddies here. #1 is simple, to Die alone. Though honestly, I’ve come to except that is a distinct possibility these days. #2 Is fear of dissapointing my family. #3 is the fear of dying in my home town.

#2 is something that really should be a fear that should be overcome. It’s stupid that I turn into a different person whenever they phone, perpetually covering my ass in the duration. Having them treat me like a 10-year-old and take it.

#3 is something that came up in a conversation I had on MSN, I said that next year, at the end of the summer, no matter what, I will come back to Dundee. I’m very commited to that. Not much to say on the matter, other than I will fight for my right to not die in Fraserburgh. I know that sounds very damning of the town, but it’s really the whole package that makes me want to run away. There are good things, I have some friends there, some non-judgemental family members, a very awesome shop that sells all manners of CCG’s and TCG’s. But it’s the bad things that make me want to leave. The fact that I can step out the front door of my parent’s house and see the Academy, the one that took six years of my childhood and made them the worst imaginable. The weather, that is dynamic as it is equally hellish. And going back to Fear #2, judgemental family members footsteps away.

My fear is slowly quelling, the heroic melodies of Dragonforce seem to be a rather healthy remedy. I’m reminded that I’ve been an idiot all these years. Go ahead, drop me an email at themissingnin@hotmail.com and tell me so. It’s about time that I start to stand up to my parents, no matter the costs. Nothing drastic mind you, I’m not going to torch a building or challenge people to mortal kombat. It’s about time I start being the Teenager I’ve repressed all these years.

Two things I should explain. Some mysteries I’ve kept about my character. My internet moniker, TheMissingNin, is taken from Naruto. It is what shinobi call another shinobi who betrayed their village, ran away and did some bad stuff in some dramatic manner. Itachi, being my favourite example. He killed his entire clan, to get some ancient ninja magics, with the exception of his brother, who he told “live to hate me, and only then will you get your revenge”. Something like that. I figured that I would betray someone at some point, in some major way, or lots of little betrayals, so why not? and TheMissingNin was born. I guess I’m just waiting for the fight that I can turn round and say to my near-defeated adversary: “live to hate me, and only then will you get your revenge”.

Second mystery - You may have noticed, but I tend to pimp out PurePwnage whenever a new episode rolls out, but I never really explain why I like it. My Parents (yeah, I’m going back to that) have never understood gaming. Never respected it. It’s always been the arguement that they’ve always won, that somehow it’s something bad. “why game when you could be sweeping the patio?” You see where I’m coming from? Then PurePwnage comes along and tells me that it’s ok to be a gamer. HOLY SHIT. Can you imagine how I felt? Fucking relieved I tell you! A revelation of personally epic proportions.

I bring this up now because the battlefield is about to present itself. One thing I took away from that debilitating phone call, besides me doing it all wrong. It finally hut me that my time at uni, for the year, is almost over, I’ve only got about a fortnight left, at most. I think it’s finally dawned on me that I really am going to be stuck in EPIC PHAILSERBORING for three months, where I’m going to have to work 8-til-5, and have to live with the ‘rents.

Imagine a warrior standing atop a mountain, fueled by rage, hatred and betrayal. And infront of him, a tidal wave of pure earth core lava, tall enough to cover the mountain three fold. Within the lava comes galloping the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and behind them the hollow souls of every hell-sent being. The warrior looks behind him, to see the beings of the world flee, and is presented with a choice - run with the rest and hope not to get caught up in the wave, or stay and fight near-impossible odds. Victory would mean a life of his own, and isn’t that worth any cost?

I hope you enjoyed this dive into the depths of my cold black emo heart. Or you now feel some sort mortal fear, I’m hopeful of that too. Next post, I’d imagine will be after the National Qualifier this weekend, till then, as I used to say, keep it 1337.

Crashing steel and raging fury

I dunno about you, but I find a weekend of deckbuilding and testing a fulfilling one. And It look like I’ve finally built my winning deck for the National Qualifiers this weekend. I’ll leave you in suspence and post up my decklist after the tourney.

I’m not going to lie and say that I came up with the idea all by myself, I’ve been a Jonny/Spike from the start. Infact it’s more like a revamping of an old deck, but I have done some stuff with it that others haven’t. Jace Beleren, to be more precise. I’m getting off track here, I’ll say more next week.

I will talk about another two decks though. First, Red Deck Wins, which was going to be my fallback, should the worst happen. But then looking at my cards, it was obvious that I didn’t have the cards for it, which led to a conclusion: Missing exactly a year in booster buying, trading, and deck building, can really rape you in the face these days.

So instead, I began to focus on Mono Black Control. Something I haven’t touched in a VERY long time. Luckily, I had some cards to start me off, and a major trading session netted me most of the cards I needed, namely some Korlashes. I took a trip up to Highlander Games this afternoon to get the rest of the cards, thinking to myself that I can walk in on sunday and everyone would be all “Oh Shi- Where did that deck come from?”. Not so much, it seems, the shop had a limited supply, and a lack of key cards for sale, though I did net my third Damnation. Leading me to conclusion #2: Once we hit October and Timespiral and Coldsnap rotate out of standard, I’m going to be one of those guys who buy their decks online.

It’s not a terrible thing to be these days, especially if you build smart. I’m nearly giddy, knowing that I’ll hardly be buying boosters ever again. Building smart is the challenge. I absolutely HATE the fact that if your running dual coloured decks, that you just have to fill it full of stupidly high priced rare land cards. That’s the main reason the three decks I focussed on this weekend were Mono Coloured. I’d love to see Wizards make a set of dual-lands that were of Ravnica Calibre AND Common. But that’ll never happen, not for a while, they’re an easily milkable cash cow. Bring back Wayfarers Bauble I say! Building smart, can save you money in the long term - noticing what’s cheap and breaking the fuck out of it before anyone else does, or buying the obviously good cards before everyone else realises they’re good, particularily after a pre-release. I’ll go more into it in a couple of weeks, once my bank balance goes up a bit and I can afford the remaining cards for my Mono Black Control.

Though I did give in a little today and buy a bunch of boosters, right out of my food-money too, just like the good old days, and I think I netted some cards that I could trade on before the tournament, otherwise, I’ll be adding them to my Ebay listings this summer. Demigod of Revenge, two Fire-Lit Thickets and Sygg to name a few. and I nabbed some Beseeches and a Dusk Urchins for my deck too.

My final discovery is that of deckcheck.net. Something that really should’ve been advertised a bit more by now, or atleast integrated by the Wizards of the Coast online team. To put it in lesser-nerd terms, it’s the YouTube of Magic: The Gathering. A means to share decks in an easier way than slaving over a BBCoded forum post, and a way to embed them into a webpage, along with a slew of other features.

In other news, it seems that my plan to smuggle my PS3 back to worked, on some part. It was no surprise that my mother unboxed it, cleaned it and put it in my cupboard - her lack respect for my personal property doesn’t leave me slack-jawed anymore. What did surprise me is the lack of mentioning it, expensive hardware never just “appears” in my possesion without comment, either that or she can’t tell the difference between a PS3 and a PS2. I stealthily hooked it up to the shitty CRT-TV, previously mine, that resides in the spare bedroom. I nearly wept seeing as little as the XMB in low res. You know, you think you’ve lost all appreciation for High-Def until it’s taken away. And did anyone see Lost last week? DAYMN! it’s getting good. I think I know what the Orchid does, and if you dig around youtube a bit, or Lostpedia, you can find out too.

I see that Rock Band’s out on Friday. £140 seems to be the standard online price for game+instruments. They’ll be lucky if I even buy the game. Consider this a talking point of my next post. Music Games’ War on Britain.

To close this post, I’d like to say a couple of things. To play Magic again, after almost a year away, felt Magical. And the fact that I can even play in a National Qualifier fulfils a childhood dream I’ve had since I was 12. I don’t think I could even describe the satisfaction I would feel If I won the freaking thing. Here’s hoping.

I wake up in the night

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I fucking love internet meme’s. No idea why.

Heading out for the weekend. I absolutely fucking guarantee a post on saturday or sunday, detailing my magical tribulations. Also, I completely forgot to mention the new X-Files Trailer earlier on in the week. Mulder, Scully, Billy Connelly, Creepy Cylon Dude from the new BSG. I’m already sold. Check it:

And Gillian Anderson, still hot. :3

Without your noose